I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Randomize
