What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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