its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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