literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
