I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
