So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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