I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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