oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
