She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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