Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize