grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
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fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
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You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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