remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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