Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
