around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
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