oh god the rape fog is back!
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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