Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Of course I have a pirate flag
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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