there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
