so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
