haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
