I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
