i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
