i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize