Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Randomize
