I accidentally had phone sex last night
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
