I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
