I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
