I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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