forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
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