Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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