all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
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We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
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how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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