i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I am naked and annoyed.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
