i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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