i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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