Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
