We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
