no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize