Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
