Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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