i permit you to call me
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
