if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I don't deserve a penis
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
