Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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