I'm passing your future prison.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
