one word: firstdatebathroomanal
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
operation have a gay friend backfired
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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