my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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