Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
The ass gains better be worth it
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