Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
