alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize