i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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