What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
