and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
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