I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
