I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
MIDGETS
????
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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