You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
