how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
