remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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