Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize