i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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