I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
