Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
