I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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